Chapter 32

It was mid-morning when their party left Orighet. They rode as the weak winter sun climbed overhead, then stopped for a quick lunch at the pass that marked the edge of Murana. The mood was somber, with even Elsabeth more subdued than normal as everyone ate and looked out over the valley. Finally, when the last of the portioned bread was eaten, Annalise swung into the saddle and they were on their way once more. 

When they stopped for the night deep in the wilderness that bordered Murana and Rhinnea, Elsabeth made herself indispensable through harrying the soldiers to set Annalise’s tent up properly, building a fire to boil tea, and even adding a warming pan to the foot of her bedroll so it was toasty when she slid between the blankets. 

“You don’t need to do all of this for me, Elsabeth. I’m sure it’s quite the hassle,” Annalise said the next morning.  

Elsabeth tutted like a mother hen as she poured another cup of tea and slathered jam and butter on a slice of bread before setting them both in front of Annalise. “Don’t you worry, Princess. It’s no bother at all, and I won’t have you half-starved to death in these woods before we even reach Rea. Now you just sit back and relax as I get this tent broken down and packed away.” 

Despite being her newly discovered relative, Captain Padrin remained quiet, and his men followed suit. They kept to themselves and rarely spoke to Annalise beyond what was necessary, preferring to ask Soren if they had questions and letting him relay any information about the travel plans. 

Annalise took their standoffishness as a rejection of her curse and thus her, and with the goal of making them more comfortable and helping them to understand that she wasn’t a threat, two days into their journey she dug out her old mask from the saddlebags. Her aunt had arranged for the top craftsmen in Murana to repair it as best they could, although with the large cheek piece broken and lost they’d settled for removing the entire bottom half and sanding down the edges, leaving a rather attractive half-mask that covered only her eyes and nose. Practical it was not, but she hoped the men would at least recognize she was trying. 

As Elsabeth buzzed around their fire, Annalise traced her finger over the carved white surface of her mask. After so many weeks with her face free to the world, a small part of her loathed to hide once more. She hesitated for only a moment before placing it on her face and tying its new silver ribbon behind her hair. 

When Elsabeth returned from tearing down the tent, she did a double take. Annalise steeled herself for a discussion, but Elsabeth uncharacteristically said nothing and instead excused herself on the grounds of finding someone to help her with the upper tent tie.

Soren had made a habit out of checking on Annalise every morning a few minutes before it was time to break camp. He would inquire as to how she slept, make sure she had no needs that Elsabeth hadn’t met, and then would help Elsabeth finish breaking down the tent and pack her things before assisting Annalise into the saddle. 

Every day, Annalise teased Soren for his help, and every day he told her it was part of his job. She suspected from the tender looks he gave her, the willingness to share his own rations, and the gentle way he lifted her in the saddle that there was something more between them than just a man simply doing his duty. She saw it, and yet she said nothing, in fear that if she acknowledged his emotions she’d have to acknowledge hers, and then they would both be miserable. No, it was far better to leave things unsaid and pretend that she didn’t recognize the soft yearning look in his eyes that matched her own inner feelings so perfectly.

When Soren stopped by after his morning ablutions and training, the frown that passed over his face was as dark as a thundercloud. “Why are you wearing that mask?” 

Annalise sat up straighter and wiped her mouth in case of crumbs. “I thought it was a good idea.” 

“Why would you do that?” He looked wildly around the camp, then leaned so close to her that she could feel the warmth of his breath on her cheek. “Did someone say something? Did they tell you to put the mask on? Tell me who and I’ll go talk to them.” 

The intensity in his eyes pulled at something in her, stealing her breath away. She leaned back to give herself some distance and clear her head. “No one said anything to me. I just thought that the Muranan guards might be uncomfortable with the idea of my curse and that maybe this would help them.” 

“Why would you think that?” 

She folded her hands in front of her and looked down. “They don’t talk to me, Soren. In fact, they seem to avoid me, and I assumed it had something to do with the curse. I don’t want to make them uncomfortable, especially with how long they’ll be on the road with us. I’m grateful for their protection and wish I could show it, but no one lets me do anything to help.” 

“Oh, that’s it?” Soren exhaled and sank next to her on the large stump that Annalise was using as a seat. “It’s almost time to go, but I think it best that we take a few minutes to hash this out first.”  

Together, they looked out across the camp as Soren spoke. “They aren’t afraid of your curse, and they certainly don’t begrudge you anything, Princess Annalise. The reason they don’t talk to you is because many of them think that it wouldn’t be right. You must remember that you are a princess several times over–you’re the daughter of a king, betrothed to another king, and on top of that you are the beloved niece of their deeply respected Lady Telimary, who is basically a queen in her own right. They don’t think it’s proper to address you directly, so they talk to me and Elsabeth instead. Trust me, all of them hold you in the highest esteem, and if anyone were to threaten us on the road, each of them would lay down their life for you.” 

“But why? I don’t know any of them.” 

“Because it is their duty to do so… and because I handpicked each of them for exactly that purpose.” 

Soren dipped his head and ruffled his fingers through his hair when Annalise turned to stare at him. “You did what? How?” 

“I picked them. Well, I helped Linnean–I mean Captain Padrin–pick them. Considering the nature of this journey, he wanted to make sure I was completely comfortable with the men who would help me guard you, and I needed the exercise after the healers forced me into such a long rest period.” He gestured around, encompassing the entire clearing where several of the guards had started loading the pack horses. “Each of the men here sparred with me at least once and is fiercely loyal to your aunt. A few of them are also accomplished trackers and hunters.” 

She raised an eyebrow at Soren before remembering that he probably couldn’t see it because of her mask. “Trackers and hunters? Are you expecting our food stores to run out?” 

“A little fresh meat never hurt anyone.” His smile dropped, and he turned back to her, his eyes now serious. “I watched bandits steal you away once, and I was worried sick that we’d lose the trail and you would be lost. I won’t let you go through that again. If anyone else tries to abduct you, we’ll be ready, and if they somehow spirit you away from the midst of this seasoned troop, we won’t be far behind. Your safety is my top priority, Princess Annalise, and the top priority of every man here.” 

“And woman, don’t forget Captain Kierson. I may not know how to wield as sword as well as you do, but let anyone get close enough and a knitting needle to the eye will take them out just as nicely,” Elsabeth said, brandishing the needles in question like they were the most lofty of swords. 

“My apologies, Elsabeth. It was remiss of me to forget our secret weapon,” Soren replied. He was grinning as he turned back to Annalise once more. His grin faltered as he looked at her mask, but strengthened when his eyes flitted to hers. “I’ll let you think about everything I said, and maybe this evening we can take a short walk and speak more of it?” 

She nodded. “I would like that, and if you truly don’t think it would hurt, I’d like to go without my mask for at least a little longer.”

The smile Soren graced her with made her feel as though it was the height of summer despite the freezing air and snowy ground. Almost before the words were fully out of her mouth, Elsabeth was jumping forward with an offer to repack the mask, and whisked it away before Annalise had a chance to change her mind. 

As they continued on their journey, Annalise spent most of the morning wrestling with her feelings as she rode in silence. She knew she was betrothed to another man, a man she’d never met before, but being around Soren made her feel safe. His presence was like a cozy room, and his smile like a lamp that lit the way on the darkest of nights. Every time he looked at her, her heart skipped a beat. She longed to take his hand and feel his skin on hers, but the wish was followed swiftly, as it always was, by the icy knowledge that no matter how she felt about Soren, they were doomed. If she were to give in to her desires, he would die, and she would rather plunge a knife into her own breast than do anything that might cause him harm.